Bondi Wanderers
01.28.04 (12:17 am) [edit][b]Day 53[/b]
I decided to join a Sunday league team that a few of the lads I met on Saturday play for, the mighty Bondi Wanderers. A proud member of the Eastern Suburbs Soccer Football Association. ( Soccer Football!!!).
So yesterday, i invested in a pair of footy boots and socks and headed to Queens Park for my first training session. The lads there were the usually bunch of ex pats all wearing their football shirts of choice, Irish lad with his Man U top, loud Cockney with his 'ammers shirt and a Leeds fan hiding behind an Ajax top in denial about his team going down. Oh and a bloke from the Midlands who was an Everton fan, tattoo and all! I can only guess from his age that he was at an easily influenced stage of his life around 1984...
So football training, contained very little football and lots of running around, sprinting, jumping, running backwards, more jumping, stretching, running and lying on the floor desperately trying to catch your breathe while praying that the mad Geordie trainer doesn't want to do anymore running.
My body is in pain every muscle in my body hurts and I have to do it all again on tomorrow. I tell myself it will be worth it, to change myself Bruno Cheyrou-esque into a goal scoring midfield dynamo!
The goal scoring ive got wrapped up as i cooly side footed home in the 30mins game we did have. ( How I was even standing at that point is mystery)
So this torture is every tuesday and thursday for the next 4 weeks thats when the friendlies start. Its all a bit serious, I was hoping for a kickabout for an hour followed by the pub, instead i got a brutal wake up call as to my fitness and the chance to limp home...
My Dad will be so proud
Matty
PS Ahh! The Derby is upon us a chance for me to stay up all night on Saturday, Im predicting a 2 - 1 scoreline to the Reds. We have been up for these games more under GH ( He's not stupid his job is on the line, another convincing win against the Blue Shite will do wonders!) I trust Mike will be wheeled out for the occasion. Whats happened to the boy Rooney? Second season Blues... (see what i did)
Ugh!
01.25.04 (7:22 am) [edit][b]Day 50[/b]
Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!
Hangovers out here are 10 times worse. It must be the heat.
So I was out on my pub crawl yesterday. I was very very drunk!
25 very drunken Pommies (and one token Aussie), 18 pubs (18!! 18!! madness...) and 12 hours solid drinking.
I feel like George Best's old liver.... ugh!
A good time was had by all even JP who had a very nasty gash in his head after falling over a drunken irishman when play fighting with another drunken irishman. ( and he was one of quiet ones! ) and for some reason unknown to me i end up covered with his blood.
There were several other casualties along the way but they were all beer related. I was fine, having trained long for alcohol fuelled days like this. All those long days spent in the Lamb paid off.
plus i got to meet loads of new people, so i now know more than 1 person in Sydney!
today has been spent in bed reading British football monthly waiting for headaches to go and wondering why my neck aches.......
think i need a doctor ( i forgot i've already got one!)
Matty
Goldie
01.23.04 (1:01 am) [edit][b]Day 48[/b]
My 3 Swedish backpacking girls turned out to be 3 young lads from Leeds who are here in their matching black t-shirts and chains (think Mike circa 1987) to watch Metallica at The Big Day Out ( which is a festival a bit like V2003) but they are ok lads and are sticking around for a day or two.
So after introducing myself I head out of the hostel
(which by the way is called the Lamrock but everyone calls its just the Lam(b)....)
and am walking down Bondi with my Liverpool shirt on
(was celebrating that mighty draw against giant killers Wolves)
and reading a couple of texts messages, when this lad walking towards me makes some comment about the shirt, something along the lines of "you've got some crap on your shirt!" then points at the LFC badge, so I look up to see this big black fella with a big smile of golden teeth and a baseball cap at a jaunty angle
...so at first I laugh "Yeah, whatever!" then continue walking... then stop as im sure i know him from somewhere... I turn around to see Goldie laughing as he realises that I only just recognised him, so he smiles and gives me a salute and then walks off. Leaving me thinking what a surreal moment that was....
(My next thought was I should turn around and lay him out for insulting LFC but the thought of Urban Dance DJ/James Bond baddie/ Eastender's actor/Celebrity Big Brother 2 Star attacked in Bondi would be gold to the tabloids back at home.)
So while avoiding celebrities im still job hunting, fine tuning my CV to the job.
(My CV is the greatest work of fiction since "Everton: Europe this season!" was published)
but my problem seems to be that there aren't that many jobs working holiday makers can apply for and when there is, there are 1000's of us chasing them, plus its a bank holiday weekend (Australia day) so all my begging emails and phone calls aren't being returned.
Well got to keep trying or I'll have to come back to you ugly bunch a lot earlier than i imagined, what more of an incentive do i need!
Matty
Dorm life
01.21.04 (11:32 pm) [edit][b]Day 47[/b]
so im all on my own (ish.. my other sister is still in Sydney) but im living by myself.. well i would be if it was for the 3 other blokes in my room!
( i'll give $20 for all those who didn't smirk and make some crack about that not be not being unusual!)
So my "Roomies" consisted of a guy the wrong side of 50 from Canada, who was very chatty (he wouldn't shut up!), an Israeli whose English was, well, worse than mine, and somebody called JB from Norwich who looked like Eddie Izzard, it was uncanny, but i refrained from telling him as i thought "Hey mate, you look just like that funny tranny off the telly!" might get us off on the wrong foot.
but not that it mattered because they have all left this morning, was it something i didn't say? or maybe that Thai curry i had last night didn't go down too well... i'll never know!
(im starting to see a pattern developing with people around me leaving all the time think i might have some abandonment issues ;o)
So ive been " On my bike!" as dear old Norman Tebbit once told us, to find a job. Wandered around the CBD (Central Business District) handing my CV to anyone who'd have it. Chairman of the Bank of Australia is what im hoping for.... but the kfc down the road is what i'll get, as you can only work here for 3 months at any one time so at kfc i'll be the longest serving member of staff if i get a job there.
So that it, off to do that all again today (might throw in a bit of sight seeing today as well)
and wait with trepidation to see who else moves in with me today, im crossing my fingers and praying for 3 Swedish backpacking girls (only because they'ed be nice and tidy obviously!)
Matty
Bondi Boy
01.20.04 (4:46 am) [edit][b]Day 46[/b]
So i didn't make it to Neighbours... :o(
Turns out the place is miles out of Melbourne and since we had no van it wasn't worth getting the bus because they don't run on Sunday's.
So we went to St Kilda instead, which is Melbourne's answer to Bondi. It was pretty cool, it had some big beach volley ball competition on. The women's event was very eye catching... It's a very funny sport because everytime you scored a point, you had to slap your partner on various parts of his/her anatomy ( A good block shot was their hands, an ace was their back and a super slam shot was a big slap on the arse!) I think points were in fact deducted when you failed to do this..
St Kilda is obviously where the whole of Melbourne come to party on the weekend, it was banging at night, even on a Sunday. So surrounded by all these fantastic bars and nightclubs we went the RSL! which is the just the Aussie version of the British Legion... but it was cheap and it had the cricket on ( Aussies getting beat by India!) We couldn't party anyway as we had to fly to Sydney the next day... :o(
Which brings me on to Bondi. It were im going to be staying for the next week or so as I set myself up in Sydney. Im booked into a hostel just off Bondi Beach which is clean, cheap and cheerful. My sister and her boyfriend leave for LA, then Central America. So im going to be all by myself tomorrow!
So Im going to have to make some friends here ( I might use my usually trick of staying in the same pub all the time, until Ive tricked the bar staff in to being my friends but that is a long term stratergy). Hopefully I'll meet people here in the hostel as Im going to have to move into a dorm with 3 other people. Or I might just buy a T Shirt with " Be my friend!! " written in huge letters. ( I should of taken lessons off Irish Paul in
"How to talk to strangers in pubs".. Lesson 1. Have knowledge of every sport in the world, then find some connection to Celtic....)
So that me upto date. Hopefully by the time I blog again I'll have a job ( getting my working visa stamped tomorrow) and be the most popular Bondi Boy since, erm, the last one.....
Matty
Too all those offend by my language can stick to reading the RacingPost.com :P
Mr Sparkle!
01.17.04 (11:26 am) [edit][b]Day 43[/b]
So im back in Melbourne again! This must be the 4th time ive been back here and im flying out again on Monday.
Im on first name terms with the Airport staff....
So what have I been doing?..erm, oh right the Great Ocean Road.
Stunning! It must be one of the most beautiful places on Earth and that's an understatement. Its sheer size is awesome, mile after mile of beautiful coastline with the road hugging the cliff top. Then beautiful rolling hills that turn into temperate rainforest at their peak back to green rolling hills which sweep down to the sea and small little fishing towns and miles of golden sand. I fell in love with the place. Best town of all was Apollo Bay it was a perfect place, with its marina, its beaches it even had a small racecourse and a little fair. ( In which i managed to win a small teddy bear by shooting down three ducks with a air rifle.... I thought i was so cool!)
So in this little paradise we chilled out.... then got bored of that and reverted back to type and got hammered and insulted the locals. ( We have done this in almost every place we've been to, we don't mean it but we are a very argumentative bunch and its quite funny watching some poor local, who thought he was being friendly by chatting to the strangers, trying to defend his country to some pissed up British backpackers. Its usually something along the lines of Aussies having no culture
and everyone is racist. Which I don't for a second believe but it just comes out after too much sun and beer usually started by my sister.) Last night it was some chap called Mr Sparkle (but he was a racist) who also was a bit too nice and came across as mass murder so we turned down his offer to stay at his house or to visit him in Melbourne....
So having escaped Mr Sparkle's backyard shallow grave we left the GOR with another hangover in tow we returned the van back to Britz in Melbourne and have checked in to a hostel in South Melbourne which is OK but their are alot of weird travellers knocking around (I know Im one too but im still thinking im the gentleman traveller not one of these smelly lot.. too many beads about!)
So im really happy because the Reds are live on telly tonight at 2am, so it going to be a late one.
Then tomorrow im off to see the Neighbours set.
So after 3
1, 2, 3,
"Neighbours! Everybody needs good neighbours..."
Matty
Sick of the Seaside!
01.13.04 (6:03 am) [edit][b]Day 39 (Honestly its is! I counted..) [/b]
So we've made it to the start of the Great Ocean Road, but to be prefectly honest we've seen more road than ocean and the road we saw wasn't that Great...
The reason being we come on to it from the 'wrong' direction so all the really cool stuff is further down the coast( I hope! if not im definitely writing to the Aussie trades description people)
So in the meantime we get to see lots of small seaside towns that look and feel like New Brighton or Southport (but with less soul) lots of families with screaming kids (it the school holidays), old men dribbling ice cream down their check shirts with the wife in tow having a nice stroll and sod all to do for any young people ( except get wasted! Im sure anyone selling hard drugs would clear up in these towns).
Then again there's alway mini golf...
So tomorrow we (hopefully) will get to see some cool stuff to write about..
In the meantime Im going to get some mint choc chip and keep practising putting swing.
Matty
The Sea
01.12.04 (6:43 am) [edit][b]Day 38.. i think.. ive just been making it up as i go along[/b]
So we finally reached the coast.. the sea looks even more fantastic after a spell in the desert.
We've been travelling the coastal roads between Adelaide and the SA/Victorian border its very picturesque with little towns dotted along, the one we stayed in last night was called Robe. Its was beautiful, with a little beach and a marina and little shops and restaurants.....not that we spent anytime looking at these, we were in the bar and on the Pokies in the local boozer but they sounded nice in the leaflet we found by the ciggie machine.
Ok we did have a little walk around in search of little penguins that are supposed to live there but we couldn't find them! They'd all fucked off somewhere. Not one penguin in all of Robe.... not even a choclate one!
So today its Mt Gambier and it extremely blue lake in a volcano and later mini golf!! I LOVE Mini Golf im going to challange every to a bet to see who wins ( it will be of course!)
Right, got to go the camera shop(!?) im in is about to shut.
and i need to practise my putting swing.
Matty
Adelaide
01.09.04 (4:57 am) [edit][b]Day 35[/b]
Ughhhh!
Too much Red Wine (and beer) makes Matty a very hungover boy!
So the Barossa, more vineyards, more wine and a very sore arse..
( Now now children! stop the hundred and one gay jokes running through your head)
... We hired bike's for the afternoon (hence the sore arse!) and rode around to a cellar door's brought a couple of bottles and sat off at Jacob's Creek drinking Jacob's Creek.
So today is Adelaide, im currently in the state library
(free internet.. Im on a budget!) which is a very nice building by the River Thingymebob ( Ive only been here a few hours! I'll find out later) so its a quick tour of the city centre, which looks very nice, lots of outdoor cafes and stuff and is a very pleasant and sunny 23C, later we're out on the lash tonight on Rundle St and thereabouts, as its friday night and it would be rude not too.
Plus Liverpol are winning again.. Yeah! Villa next.. should batter them.. so that defo a 1 nil to Villa
Right, got to go write emails to a medical student who has decided to start singing at me!
Matty
In Between a Rock and a Weird place
01.08.04 (1:31 am) [edit][b]Day 34[/b]
Right where was I..... oh yeah THE OUTBACK.
Apologies for not updating in recent days but there's a lack of t'internet access in the desert but what it lacks in information technology it makes up for with dead kangaroos....
Anyway.
The Rock - Big, Red and stands in the middle of nowhere ( A bit like Heskey). When we finally arrived at Ayers Rock the heatwave they were having was at its peak, so we weren't allowed to climb it, something about dying of heat exhaustion in the 43C degree heat! So we had a nice drive around it instead ( Was i fuck getting out of the air conditioned car for more than a few minutes it was 43C!!!). Then drove to see some other big red rocks down the road ( The Olgas) before returning to watch the sunset with 100 other people and 10 million flys. ( No one ever tells you about the flys in Oz there are billions of the buggers and most of them are trying to eat me and don't get me started on the mozzies!)
The Rock is impressive but I wasn't in awe of the thing like everyone in the guide books are... it is just a big commercial Red Rock.
In the morning after leaving the resort campsite we head down to a town called Coober Pedy about 750 km away. The Outback has nothing in it at all. You can drive for hours and the flat red dusty terrain just doesnt change. You do pass the odd "town" . A town in the Outback consists of a petrol station and thats it. There is nothing.. except dead roo's and... Coober Pedy.
Coober Pedy. Now imagine a town built after a nuclear war and you've got Coober Pedy. A proper town (of sorts) its built on the edge of a opal field ( which is the only reason its here) with most of the buildings dug in to the ground to escape the unbearable heat. It is an absolute dump ( the people look like they have actually just survived a nuclear war!) Its one of those place which has to be seen to be believed.... a bit like the Prince Alfred pub. We stayed there one night and hot tailed it out first thing in the morning, we spent most of the night in an underground hotel bar to stay away from the locals ( These people were too scary for the League of Gentlemen).
Then headed for Port Agusta, a small seaside town about 800km away from Coober Pedy ( not far enough in my opinion!) Port Agusta is the first town in civilisation I nearly got out and kissed the floor! Its a very quiet town but gave us time to plan are assault on Adelaide via the vineyards of South Australia!
So yesterday we stayed in the Clare valley a lovely place full of little wineries, so we went wine tasting.
Wine tasting is class! You turn up at someone's cellar door and ask them for several wines to taste, so they give you a small glass of each, smell it drink it and fuck off. Excellent! So given there are over 70 vineyards in the area plenty of time to get wasted. ( We did buy a bottle in one place as we were feeling guilty, but as soon as the really nice wine kicked in that soon left us) plus you get to talk absolute bollocks for the day ( yeah I know im already a master of this..) in describing the tastes and smells " Fruit and spices!" is what i like to shout which usually brings a smile to the owners face.
So today we were going to go to Adelaide but there is an even bigger Valley full of even bigger Vineyards called the Barossa ( it very German for some reason) All the Big names are there Jacob's Creek, Penfolds and Lehmans. So we're going to hire a bike and ride around them getting trolleyed. Class.
So thats me up to date. Its big cities and towns along the Great Ocean road next so i should be able to keep my blog current.
Right lets get some practise...ahem..
"Apples and Tar!" " My Socks and Cinnamon!"
Matty
Kissing Croc's
01.03.04 (1:35 am) [edit][b]Day er.. 28?[/b]
Happy New Year
So NYE in Sydney was amazing! I went to a party in a flat in Kingscross, it had an amazing view of the Harbour and Bridge and therefore the fireworks. The party was full of drunken Brits all singing v funny Rugby songs ( " I shagged Matilda and so did my mates") so i got quite drunk but still managed to get phone numbers off people withh offers of somewhere to crash next time Im in Sydney.
Next morning (large hangover in tow) I got a flight to Alice Springs. ( 9th flight this month!)
OH MY GOD ITS HOT! 38C when we arrived going up to 43C!!! today.... so we picked up the van ( Bruce). Which is pretty cool everthing was supplied with it (for the lazy backpacker) and we managed to kill the aircon in 3 hours ( we didn't know u had to switch it off when stopped!)
After getting it fixed we head out on the open road to a place called Ellary's Big Hole. a waterhole in the middle of the nowhere. It was beautiful. So we camped there last night, drove back in Alice today where we set off for Kings Canyon and the Rock.
Alice is a really strange town. Lots of Aboriginals knocking about doing sod all but get pissed ( a perfect life you'll no doubt agree) but the local white folk don't agree. ( Nice lady in shop " Don't go out at night too many of those Abo's arounded begging and drinking!" obviously the local Race relations officer)
Anyway we went to a Reptile house and had a BIG python around my neck. ( V weird.. thought they'd be slimey or something) plus I got to meet a really big saltwater croc! He was sitting on the bottom of his pool just smiling ( there was a underwater window so you could get face to face with him... I gave him a kiss)
plus there was a load of evil snakes and lizards and skinks ( fat lazy lizards who do fuck all really)
Im getting some photo's developed so will try an get them on CD or disk so i can email them or publish them here.
So back the road to nowhere and top up the tan.
Matty
ps Im getting your text messages at really strange times after you send them but i will reply when (and if) I get a signal.
