My friend Fat Kiwi

My friend Fat Kiwi

03.02.04 (7:31 am)   [edit]
[b]Day 88[/b]

Its been such a long time since I was last here, forgotten what ive been up to!

Right... erm...er...not much actually...

Ive settled into normal a pattern of working, eating and sleeping during the week and going out drinking on the weekend.

Ive pretty much got use to life in the hostel, they have a big TV room and library for those days when drinking doesn’t seem so much fun. Loads of new people to talk too.. Ive been there so long I know half the full time staff (Im sure one or two think I work there…) so the hostel is fine except... well except for Fat Kiwi.

Fat Kiwi is the bane of my life, never ever going to forgive myself for talking to Fat Kiwi….

This will sound really cruel and horrible but I don’t care.

I hate Fat Kiwi !

Fat Kiwi is a bloke who lives in my hostel and not only that he shares a room with me and I hate him but I hate him for no reason whatsoever.
He has never ever done anything wrong to me, in fact he is a polite quiet fella who keeps himself to himself, I don’t think he has ever done anyone any harm… but I hate him!
What is it about this bloke that made me hate him as soon as I met him? I really don’t know but everything about him annoys me, the way he walks, talks and really hate the way he breathes!

But, I thought, he’ll be moving on in a few days time like everyone else does, so not to worry….

No! Fat Kiwi is staying and staying for a while!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So I spend as little time in the hostel as possible, ignore him in the kitchen and TV room but sharing a room, we are bound to run into each other. So slowly over the last weeks I get to hear Fat Kiwi’s story. He has no job or house but is waiting for a offer from a firm in Canada, his dad lives in Melbourne but he doesn’t want to stay with him (me thinks his Dad doesn’t like Fat Kiwi) and he hasn’t got many friends in Sydney ( I wonder why…) oh and he likes cricket.

I know he likes cricket because Fat Kiwi over hears me on the phone and invites himself to a game we had in the park on Saturday, I finally cracked and felt sorry for him, so I said he could come.

Fat Kiwi takes the whole thing deadly serious, it was a mess about!!! God I hate him!

After the game my friends (and even worse Fat Kiwi) assume Im his friend and invite him out to the pub that night!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo!

I frantically try to stop them...too late..

Things had to be done.

When we got back to the hostel to change, I made strategic manoeuvres to quickly shower and get changed in the laundry room thus avoiding Fat Kiwi and get to pub (which I’d conveniently forgotten to tell Fat Kiwi which one we were meeting at)

I slowly sneak towards the front door, hoping he's not there.... he's not!

Im home free, I run out...

stop...

Noooo! I'd forgotten the Keycode to get back in tonight...

I had to go back in..

I run in grab the nearest Keycode card, but i feel a hand on my shoulder...

Noooo! I slowly turn around....



Now if it had been Fat Kiwi this would be a great story!
but it wasn't it was the Geordie cleaner wishing me a good night out.

I escape... leaving Fat Kiwi on his own like the little boy and Charlie the cat from those Government safety commercials from the 80's.

Now I don't feel proud about what i did but what you got to realise is

I REALLY HATE FAT KIWI

Matty
[url=]http://www.yha.com.au/hostels...[/url] My Hostel